Potpourri

You know that “Potpourri” category on JEOPARDY! where it’s just a hodgepodge of questions and answers that really have no connection to one another? That’s what this post is like, since I apparently have a lot of time to make up for. I kept thinking it had been about a week since I wrote anything, but it turns out that it’s been two! I’d love to say that I have been so incredibly busy that I haven’t had time to write, but that’s not entirely true. While I have been somewhat preoccupied with two birthdays within one week and the kids’ school work starting to get more difficult and more involved, I have also been pretty tired, still taking naps in the afternoons whenever possible. Anyway, read on… smell the potpourri.

We had a dual birthday party over the weekend. Big D turned 6 and the Banana turned two. We had a house full of people, who still managed somehow to leave without eating all of the birthday cake. The kids had such a great time playing with their cousins, and the house was in surprisingly good shape afterwards. Here is a recap of Big D’s Sixth Year and Banana’s Second Year.

Although I have taken an obvious hiatus from writing, I have nonetheless been trying to keep up with some of my favorite blogs. Andrea from Little Bald Doctors wrote a post about her pregnancy that really hit home for me. She revealed how much she worries about this pregnancy even though she made a promise to herself that she would relax and enjoy it. I could empathize with her; feel her stress and anxiety. I, too, have been worried about my pregnancy from the minute I saw that little plus sign on the E.P.T. For one thing, it was COMPLETELY unexpected (can I even stress that enough?) If I truly would have thought this would happen, I would have been taking prenatal vitamins at the very least. For another, it has been 10 years since I had a baby. I am thirty-five years old, and considered to be of “advanced maternal age”. My first pregnancy was such a breeze – no morning sickness, no fatigue even until the last couple of months. This time I look up everything that’s been happening to me on the internet to make sure it’s a “normal” symptom of pregnancy. I have to admit that it was nice to read about Andrea’s worries and know that I am not alone.

Actually, it turns out that I wasn’t alone even in my household. My husband had similar concerns about this pregnancy. That's not really all that surprising. However, I noticed that Miss M did not seem to have the excited reaction to friends’ congratulations that I would have expected. I was starting to wonder if she was thinking that another baby in the family would be a negative thing. I considered that she might have thought that there would be even less time for her, or that she would be expected to help out even more. It was making me sad to assume she was thinking like that, so I asked her about it one day. She told me the reason she didn’t want to get too excited about the baby is because she was scared. I asked her what she was scared of and she promptly named three women we knew who had lost babies within the last year or so. I was astonished that her 10-year-old mind was so intuitive and sensitive. Trying to hide my own concerns (and my tears) I assured her that the doctor is keeping an eye on the baby and me and that everything looks good. I told her how I was worried that she didn’t want a new brother or sister, and she thankfully contradicted that thought. She has been much more excited and eager to talk about the baby.

Another blog I like to read is mamalogues.com. Yesterday’s post about a six-year-old’s sass had a familiar theme. Big D has only been six for two days, but his “you’re-not-the-boss-of-me” attitude has been surfacing regularly for some time now. He often gets snippy with me, and has on two occasions lost his temper completely and has out-and-out yelled at me. Dana from Mamalogues was quick enough in her situation to have an immediate and effective reaction to the yelling. She was able to take away something that her son really wanted and he was immediately sorry for his behavior. I do not feel like I have found an effective response to Big D’s yelling. The first time it happened, he got the usual time-out without blinking an eye. My response was immediate, but I’m not sure it was effective. Sometimes I think giving children time-out just gives them time for their anger to brew stronger. The second episode was in the car, and I felt at a loss to have any kind of effect on him. I took 10 minutes off his bedtime (meaning he has to go to bed 10 minutes early) but by the time we actually got home it was past his bedtime so there was really no immediate consequence. I did not get an apology either time, and I am unfortunately positive that I will see this behavior again. Any suggestions for dealing with children yelling at their parents would be greatly appreciated.

I started an allowance program with Miss M and Big D this week. I decided that they were old enough to help with a little more around the house and that they might learn some things about money in the process. I read somewhere a long time ago that you should set a child’s allowance at a dollar amount that is equal to half his or her age. I sat down with Miss M and discussed this amount and what responsibilities would be required. We came up with a list of five things that needed to get done on a regular basis in order for her to earn her five dollars. Admittedly, two of the things on her list are things she should be doing anyway, you have to start somewhere, right? Big D agreed that he would like to get three dollars allowance and we came up with three things for his list. One of the terms of both agreements is that there should be no whining or complaining when the child is asked to do one of the assigned chores. Miss M has been doing very well, considering that her homework load has hit its peak this week. Big D, on the other hand, has given me a fair amount of the aforementioned attitude; making sure to note that he doesn’t need allowance because he’s got birthday money. But he has completed all of his chores. Go figure!

Last week my mom called me from work with a sense of urgency. Her office was getting a new table for their front room, and the old one was up for grabs. The table we used in our kitchen has lost its finish, but it had room for all six of us and had slide-out leaves which allowed us to have both sets of grandparents over for dinner comfortably. She was excited because this one had not only a finish on it, but it was bigger than the old one and still had two slide-out leaves. We told her we’d take it. When we got it home we realized that it was actually big enough to fit eight people around it, but only if we had chairs. We’ve been using benches made by my grandpa for the kids to sit on, but they really only hold two kids. If we had chairs, three would fit on each side plus two on the ends. With six in the family and one on the way, we could use all those chairs. We bought one table and six chairs in 1995 when we bought our first house. The table was from Service Merchandise (a blast from the past) and the chairs were from Target. Needless to say they were not the highest quality table and chairs. We have not bought another table or set of chairs since then. We have, however, inherited tables from both of our grandparents and parents since then. Some survived the Reddy Zoo…some didn’t. Regardless, we decided it was time to invest in some decent chairs for our kitchen. It turns out that chairs are more expensive than I thought. Not to mention we need eight of them. And all because of a table that didn’t cost us a thing. Thanks, Mom…I think!

To Know or Not to Know…That is the Question

Slackermommy posted a question from One Grumpy Bunny on her blog today.

“If you are in the midst of the best possible moment that you will ever experience in your entire life, would you want to know it?”

My answer to that question is a resounding “NO”. I love that there are so many possible “bests” in my life and that it’s difficult to choose just one. There are the obvious things, of course, like my wedding day, the first time I held each of my children, my anniversary trip to Hawaii with my husband. But there are other little “Moments of Zen” that stand out in my mind as well. Like the time we took the kids on a “pajama ride” to look at Christmas lights one winter evening past bedtime. That was great family fun. Or when I spent my birthday at the country house and I was able to go to the beach all by myself and take a nap. A rare instance of solitude that will never be forgotten. No matter what my true “best moment” is destined to be, I am positive that I wouldn’t want to know that it came and went and that there will be nothing better to look forward to.

Vacation

I didn’t intend to take a vacation from my blog, but it appears that I did nevertheless. I had gotten into a somewhat regular routine of writing while C.B was at preschool and the Banana was napping. But that precious timeslot has recently become known as “Mommy’s Naptime”. Either this pregnancy is really wearing me out, or I have finally found a decent excuse to take naps in the middle of the day. Either way, I have been sleeping instead of writing. And I'm not ashamed of it either. Because despite what my kids think, naps are AWESOME!

I’m not sure I can actually recap an entire two weeks worth of activities, but I can probably hit some of the highlights. We had our annual family camping trip a few weekends ago. The weather was wonderful and a great time was had by all. And by “all” I mean Grandma, Grandpa, 5 Aunts, 8 Uncles (including one on leave from Iraq), and 11 cousins besides the six of us. We try to reserve the same three campsites each year. We like that area because it’s right next to a big open field for playing kickball, football, Wiffle ball, etc., it’s near the playground, and, most importantly, close to the bathrooms. We have campfires each night complete with s’mores and campfire games. Click here for the photo set.

We were excited to learn that we had purchased a winning raffle ticket at our church picnic last month. Our prize was a 50-inch, flat screen, plasma television. We chuckled about how comical it was that our family won this awesome television because we don’t subscribe to cable or satellite – we’ve been using rabbit ears for the last two years. We decided since our new prize was HDTV compatible that we’d try an HD antenna and see what happened. We were surprised to find not only a beautiful, clear picture, but we are also receiving a few bonus HD channels that we never knew existed. We are not TV people, but we are thrilled to be able to look at the screen without seeing lines running through it. We are also pleased that all of our local channels are actually viewable. My husband is enjoying the crisp colors of the football games on Sunday afternoons. It was definitely worth buying those raffle tickets!!

And speaking of Sundays, ours are becoming increasingly crazy lately. We started Sunday School two weekends ago, which was also the same weekend for plenty of other activities. After Sunday School, my parents took the Banana to my cousin’s baptism party, C.B. and Dad took Big D to his soccer game, while I took Miss M with me to choir practice. She was later picked up by a friend for her volleyball game. After an hour I left choir to catch the rest of the volleyball game, then Miss M and I met up with the boys back at the house. We all got nicely dressed to join Banana and Gramma and Grampa at the baptism party. We didn't get home until nearly bedtime that night. I thought the craziness was over, but the very next Sunday was almost as bad. Big D and Dad left immediately after Sunday School for their soccer game, the rest of us caught up with them there. Miss M and I actually packed lunches to eat at the game because she and I had to leave right afterwards for a Girl Scout field trip. The troop went horseback riding, which was a lot of fun, but we didn’t get back home until 6:30 that night. Maybe I did need that vacation after all!!

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s…me!

My husband and I recently finished watching the first season of the television series “Heroes” on DVD. We have found that renting TV series and watching them after the kids go to bed is really the only way to enjoy them. There are very few prime time shows that are suitable for children, and “Heroes” is definitely unsuitable. While we found the premise and storyline both interesting and entertaining, we were disappointed at how graphically violent the show can be. It was also overtly sexual at times. I find it shocking and amazing what they can show on network television at 8:00 at night. But that’s another discussion for another time, and at all not where I’m going with this post.

The story of “Heroes” involves ordinary people who discover they have extraordinary abilities, such as being able to spontaneously heal yourself, being able to hear things that are happening 40 miles away, even being able to fly. It got me to thinking about some of the extraordinary things that happen to ordinary women during pregnancy.

Besides the occasional uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach and the frequent exhaustion, there are some beneficial things happening to me as well. I may not be able to hear what is happening in the next county, but I can smell things that others cannot. Sometimes that can be pretty cool. Other times, especially when combined with that previously mentioned “uncomfortable feeling”, it can be nauseating. Either way, it’s extraordinary. And while I may not be able to instantly heal any injuries I may sustain, studies have shown that there may be an increase in immunity during pregnancy. A healthy baby needs a healthy environment in which to develop, so that stronger immune system helps keep mama from getting sick. Extraordinary! In addition, Miss M is amazed by my fingernails lately. I have never really had fingernails. They grow very slowly and weakly (and usually just get chewed off during a tense episode of “Heroes”.) However, they have been growing longer and stronger every day. Miss M and I both find this extraordinary.

I realize that a good sniffer, long nails and a heightened resistance to the common cold are not going to help me save the world. But I think that any woman who grows another person within her body is a hero. Not that I want to complain, but it does take a bit of work to make sure that little person is safe and strong in there. There are restrictions on certain foods, drinks and activities that would not otherwise exist. There's the weight gain, the heartburn, the mood swings, etc. (Don't you want to call and thank your mother?) Many women endure months of morning sickness, fatigue and even bed rest to make sure their babies have the best possible beginnings. If that’s not heroic, I’m not sure what is.

Now, if only I could get that flying thing to work.

Bike Rides, Soccer, and Peanut Butter

A lot has happened since my last post. I guess that’s what happens when you wait so long to write. I went to Columbia with three of my sisters-in-law for the MS Bike Ride. I was not allowed to ride per the doctor’s instructions, but I decided to go along and volunteer at one of the rest stops along the way. It wasn’t the same as riding, and I was WAY jealous of my three companions who did get to ride, but I am very glad that I went nonetheless. Thanks to all of you who donated to support me and my team. And for those who haven’t yet, there’s still time to make a difference! Donate to Team Reddy here.

When I returned from Columbia I was able to celebrate my birthday with my family (and YES, my husband did get me presents). I was also able to watch Big D play in a soccer game for the first time. It was actually quite exciting. He was the goalie for the first half and he was pretty good too! His team didn’t win, but Big D had so much fun playing. And, of course, that’s the important thing.

On Tuesday of last week, our old dog Scully passed away. She had been getting progressively sicker over the past month and a half. She had lost the use of one of her back legs and the other wasn’t far behind. If she managed to get herself down the stairs, she had to be carried back up. She was vomiting almost constantly and wetting on the living room carpet as well. After she passed I got the comforting feeling that she could now run again in doggy heaven, that she was no longer in pain, and that maybe she’d see her old pal, Kenobi – our first dog. It was her time.

We had already been thinking of adding another dog to the family before Scully passed away (preparing for her inevitable departure). There was one dog in particular at the Humane Society that we were interested in. We went to meet her and decided she was a good fit for the Zoo. She reminded us a lot of our first dog, Kenobi. She has the same eyes and some of the same markings on her face. She is two years old and housetrained (Alleluia!) She’s still very playful, and big enough that she knocks the kids over sometimes without meaning to. She’s a real sweetheart, although she seems to be protective of her new house, since she barks at people and other dogs that go by. The kids named her Peanut Butter.

It helped with the loss of our old dog to have Peanut Butter around. Because our previous dogs were both older by the time children came along, our kids have never had a dog that would actually play with them. They are having as much fun with her as she is with them.

It’s Really There!

I’m still here, in case you were wondering. I know it’s been a while since I posted our awesome news, and now I feel the need to elaborate a bit. The disbelief has finally worn off. There were 3 or 4 days between the time we took the pregnancy tests and the time that I actually spoke with the OB. Those were four days where my husband and I had a little secret – one that we weren’t even sure was true. After I was finally able to speak to the nurse practitioner at the OB’s office, I was only slightly assured by her confidence that I was pregnant. I still had nearly two weeks to wait in between talking to her and actually seeing the doctor. We began telling our family and friends a little over a week ago, thinking it would make the pregnancy seem more real, but a part of me kept wondering if I would have to tell all of these people it was all a mistake.

On Tuesday, we not only went in for a doctor visit, but also for an ultrasound. It was then that we were able to see the living proof:

Believe it or not, that fuzzy little peanut shaped object is our baby at a little over 7 weeks gestation. He/She measures 1.2 centimeters from “head to rump”, roughly the size of a pinto bean. The baby’s little heart was beating strong at 150 bpm. We even got to hear it on the monitor. At that point, I must admit, I was finally and thoroughly convinced that I was pregnant.

I guess I should consider myself lucky that I needed all that convincing. Because it means that I have not been experiencing some of the more common (and unpleasant) side effects of pregnancy, like morning sickness. I didn’t feel any nausea at all with Miss M and so far there has been very little with this baby, unless I go too long without eating. I have had days where I am completely exhausted, but that happens to me occasionally anyway – I have four kids, remember?

Today is my birthday, which I mention only because of how it relates to this whole pregnancy thing. You see, several people have mentioned what a wonderful birthday gift this baby is. While I agree that it is wonderful and it is a gift, I do not agree with the implication that my husband is exempt from getting me a birthday gift. Nice try, honey. Now, you’d better get to the store!!

Adoption Education – Part IV

My husband and I have always known that the creation of our family has been inspired by God. We became pregnant with Miss M earlier into our marriage than we had planned, but we had no complaints. It was an easy pregnancy and she was such a good baby. We knew we wanted to have more kids, close in age if possible, but we were not able to conceive again after Miss M. We decided that she was a special little miracle; God’s way of giving us a taste of parenting. Because of our little girl, we knew we were meant to have more children, even if we couldn’t make them ourselves.

By the time our “baby” was four, we had made the decision to adopt a child. It was not a difficult decision. Indeed, we both felt that it was what we were meant to do all along. Miss M was the medical marvel that made us want more kids, and adoption was our destiny. This belief was further validated by the fact that Big D’s transition into our family was perfect. So perfect, in fact, that we applied for a second adoption as soon as we could. We were surprised (and thrilled) to learn about C.B. the week after we sent in our application. The process with his adoption was even quicker and smoother than Big D’s.

Our two boys, who were only sixteen months apart, kept us very busy. But we longed for another little girl. Jumping right back into the adoption process, we specifically asked for a baby girl this time around. We waited longer for our little girl, but the Banana was another perfect fit into our family. Furthermore, it seemed to us that having our two boys and two girls was just right for our family. We finally felt complete.

And then one day THIS HAPPENED…

And we were so shocked that we needed a “do-over”.

Even after two positive tests, there’s a fair amount of disbelief in our minds. I mean, it has been 10 years since Miss M was born so it’s a little unbelievable. However, the OB/GYN has assured us that if the pregnancy tests are positive, we’re having a baby. We are still pretty shocked, but extremely excited about another addition to the family. As are the kids, the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the friends, etc.

So the “Adoption Education” is mine this time, and here’s what I learned. I learned that we are not in charge. My husband and I felt like we were in control of the growth of our family through adoption. Since we made the decision not to adopt any more children, naturally our family was complete. Well, I learned that God has His own plan for us, and that we are NOT in control. And that’s just fine with me.

I also learned that God has a sense of humor.

I’m Finally Finished!

Using a family party as motivation, I finally finished the kids’ rooms. Hooray!! I feel like I have been painting for nearly two straight months, but it’s been worth it. All three rooms look great, and the kids are very happy in them. Here’s a pictorial peek at the finished products:

MISS M’s ROOM…

BANANA'S ROOM...

AND THE BOYS’ ROOM…

Whew!! Now I just need to get all the paints, tools, and other supplies put back in all the right places. Most of it has been stashed in my room during this process, which is why there are no pictures of my bedroom posted here. And why the door stays closed. All the time.

Another Cake

I almost forgot to post a picture of my latest cake. It was a couples’ shower for a girl baby. It was a big cake (serving 50 people) and it took a lot of icing to cover it. It was supposed to look like a baby blanket. What do you think?

My husband said I should post pictures of Miss M’s birthday cake as well. We made an ice cream cake that turned out pretty fancy…and darned yummy too!

Click here to see all my cakes. Click here for more information about ordering one. Thanks!

I Think I Cheated

Last week a mom whose blog I like to read wrote a post about her son’s first day of school. She described herself as “a sniffling, quivering mess of snot” the morning she dropped him off. A couple of days later I got an e-mail from my sister-in-law about how difficult her first-day experience was. She asked us, “Why didn’t you more experienced moms tell me how much I would be affected by the first day of Kindergarten?” She apparently had a hard time sleeping the night before and had a huge headache. Her e-mail went on to explain that she really had to do some persuading to get her son onto the bus. “He successfully (with quite a bit of nudging) got on the bus and I guess he’s doing fine as I have not had any phone calls from the teacher yet.” Feeling badly that I had not adequately warned her, I called her that afternoon to make sure she was doing OK.

Over the last few weeks I had been tearing up a little bit whenever I thought about sending Big D off to “big school”. I talked to him a couple of times last week about his feelings regarding school, and if he had any questions. I told him that C.B. and Banana and I would miss him during the day. He said he would miss us too. Then he remembered that his first day of school was a half day. “It’s good that it's only a half day Mom”, he told me. “We will only have to miss each other for a little bit that first day and after that we will be alright.” Thankfully I was driving and he was in the backseat so he didn’t see my tears.

I easily made the decision NOT to go along to drop him off on the first day. Our routine is for Dad to drive Big D and Miss M in the mornings before he goes to work. We both thought it would be best to keep the same routine. He went to the same school last year for preschool, and the drop-off process is the same as last year. Surely he would wonder why I was there since he already knew what he was doing.

Big D was excited and got out of bed pretty easily for school this morning. He got dressed in his uniform, having only a little bit of trouble with his belt. He looked sharp. We took a picture of him and Miss M on the front porch.

He left with a wave and a smile, and I didn’t shed a single tear. When I picked him up that afternoon, his smile was even bigger.

He told me all about his first day, and how much fun he had. He asked if he got to go back again in the morning and cheered when I said yes. I think I made the right decision by not going. It definitely kept my emotions in check. But after reading about other moms’ experiences, I feel like I may have cheated.